Last night was Homecoming. It was actually pretty mellow. I wasn't feeling too great so I ended up resting for half the night. But regardless, I think it was nice. We all got to just relax for a little bit.

There was some serious discussion and I guess it kinda let people know that things aren't ok. My boyfriend went to the actual dance. He did not ask me to go with him. However, his rationale is sound. I don't like dances. I don't like the loud music and being crowded into a gym with people I don't like or don't know. He already knew that and didn't bother asking. Yet.... it still would have been nice if he did. Would I have said no? I have no idea. But in the end, I'm glad he didn't ask me, because I had a better night in.

Anyway, as he left I had a legit serious conversation with him on the porch. He's worried about my health, as he should be. I haven't been sleeping well and I feel like I'm starting to go a little insane. I'm still hung up over what happened a week ago, and I'm sure he can see it in my eyes. (.... A/N; I seriously just started crying right now.) I wish he wouldn't worry. I mean... I don't know. I hate it when people get too concerned about me.

I tear myself away from people. When I really don't want contact you can tell. It's easier in real life because I can actually physically set myself apart. I stand a bit further away, I don't reach out and touch people... it's just a lot of small things.

Anyway, my sister is still kind a nagging me about my relationship. I really wish I could stop caring about it.

In the end, what made me smile the most the entire night was when one of my guy friends fell asleep on my couch. We had just finished the movie and I was taking my two other friends home. We debated leaving him there because obviously he was doing fine. But sadly we had to wake him up. It's just funny because I honestly would have let him sleep there until he woke up for whatever reason. He also said at last homecoming that he would sneak into my house just to sleep on the couch. Well, he finally got to...

It's weird having homecoming right before 9/11. I don't understand why it's so early this year. Today is a day of remembrance. I hope I get an ultra mellow day and hopefully some sleep tonight. (It has been getting better though).

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make
your paths straight.
-- Proverbs 3:5-6