Aha.
It's almost like the end of 6th grade.
Dude... there's a whole big ol' story that goes with it... but for once I don't feel like typing novels. (*gasp!*)
Short version: someone thinks that me and my crush should go out...
But, uhm, ok, yeah I'll be typing a novel.
I've just been thinking, how DO people judge if two other people should be together/look good together. It's like... it's weird. In both of my cases, people have said that my crush and I looked good together. But, why?
Is it like appearance wise... or is it through personality and personal history? I have not really taken the time to think and say if people look good together. I mean, some people, it would be cute because its like they like each other and stuff. But other than that, it's not like I pay much attention to it.
But, of course, I'm the oblivious one of all my friends. I hardly notice anything that goes on around me. It's insane, but I usually just get caught up in my own world. As much as that's not a good thing... it just happens. I often get bored and like to retreat into my imagination. (Which, as we all know is very weird!).
I know I'm not the only one to do that. But I do it more often than most people. And the thing is... I usually have a blank look that people mistake as thinking hard. In reality, I'm barely thinking. I'm one of the few that can think about absolutely nothing. At all. Fear my skills! :P
Ahem... yeah. *sigh*.
I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they think. Like, if you really try and pay attention, you might notice patterns. Like my friend, she thinks in colors. I think in more like, words and text. Like I'm reading a book or typing on a typewriter.
It just might mean that I'm more straight to the point and organized. Or it just might mean that I don't have a super creative mind. Even though I can create AWESOME backgrounds and images with colors that you can only DREAM about. But... it just doesn't translate well.
With words, I know what I want and what I need. I'm organized and getting at my point. Plus, I just LOVE words. They can do just about anything. If used well, they can make you feel emotions. They can make you see images. That's what I like. I love using adjective and stuff. It's so much fun :D
And with that- I have to say...
Chocolates are manly phones. VERY manly phones. You best believe it.
:P
Tuesday
Sunday
me+sugar-sleep=...crazy
Mmm... so last night I went to my friend's belated birthday party. It was really awesome. I loved it and had TONS of fun. I think that it just reaffirmed my good mood and I hope to stay that way for many more weeks. :)
I am so out of it when I'm sleep deprived. I seem to be getting less sleep but still function relatively well. I guess the summer of very bad sleep patterns sort of helped me out. But I would love a night were I sleep straight through all the way until 6:40 AM and wake up not that sleepy. Not going to happen anytime soon, I guess...
Anyway, back to yesterday. I'm up at like... oh boy, I don't even remember. But I know by like 9. My sister goes out and runs errands for most of the day. Joy... so I was bored for most of my day. Even though I knew I should've done homework... it didn't happen. I just kinda went, "Bah. Tomorrow"
My sister gets home... and she has her hair dyed. :\... Dude... she goes and gets her hair dyed and cut while I haven't even gotten a trim in MONTHS. DUDE! But now I can't call her a blonde :(. Well, as my friend's family puts it, she's a pineapple now: Brown on the outside, yellow on the inside. Haha.
Basically, at four I'm over at my friend's party... and well... it was just super fun. Rock band basically the whole night (I SO need to take mine and start playing again...I sucked SO bad). With breaks to go to the park and eat and stuff. It's nice to know that I'm not the only vegetarian around.... and it's been forever since I've had a veggie burger... hmm.... we should have some for dinner sometime....
It was so funny when we went to the park, we played hide-and-seek and first round, me and a group of other people (almost half if not more) just ditched and went back to the house. Then it consisted of my group trying to find a place to hide and we eventually deiced to hide in a little kiddy house... Haha. It was so stuffed and hot. But so worth it once they found us like, 5 minutes later.
After more just messing around, she opened her presents. Most of them cards, but I mean, honestly, who would not want cash on their b-day?? Lol. So, I'm sure she was happy with what she got.
Then cake.... :D. My motto, "Cake is cake". It doesn't matter what kind, I'll most likely eat it. Unless it's like fruit cake or something. Then it's like... eewwww.
So I get a slice of carrot cake (it was neglected... :( I felt bad for it). It was pretty good.... except the frosting tasted a little weird, but hey... it was still good.
More messing around... went out side and did a little basket ball. Then was the pinata. The first person knocked the string connecting off, so then the rope was tied around the head... and then the HEAD got knocked off... So they ductape it together. Just in time for MY turn. So I basically have the hardest one...
But it eventually does get completely torn apart. You couldn't even tell what it was anymore! (In the beginning it was spiderman).
After that we continue watching Dane Cook... and by like 10:15 I'm the last person (who is NOT related) still there. ^^'. Haha. So I call my sister to come pick me up and by the time I'm home it's like 10:20.
I'm in bed by like 10:40-ish. Not asleep until who KNOWS when. (Though my guess is that by 11:30 I was asleep).
Whew. Long night, eh? But it was so fun. And of course... I was the odd one out because I only had like.... two sprites while everyone else had like... 3+. Seriously, I just barely finished my second soda while we were doing the pinata. Ah well, I guess I'm not much of a soda person.
Mmm... so last night I went to my friend's belated birthday party. It was really awesome. I loved it and had TONS of fun. I think that it just reaffirmed my good mood and I hope to stay that way for many more weeks. :)
I am so out of it when I'm sleep deprived. I seem to be getting less sleep but still function relatively well. I guess the summer of very bad sleep patterns sort of helped me out. But I would love a night were I sleep straight through all the way until 6:40 AM and wake up not that sleepy. Not going to happen anytime soon, I guess...
Anyway, back to yesterday. I'm up at like... oh boy, I don't even remember. But I know by like 9. My sister goes out and runs errands for most of the day. Joy... so I was bored for most of my day. Even though I knew I should've done homework... it didn't happen. I just kinda went, "Bah. Tomorrow"
My sister gets home... and she has her hair dyed. :\... Dude... she goes and gets her hair dyed and cut while I haven't even gotten a trim in MONTHS. DUDE! But now I can't call her a blonde :(. Well, as my friend's family puts it, she's a pineapple now: Brown on the outside, yellow on the inside. Haha.
Basically, at four I'm over at my friend's party... and well... it was just super fun. Rock band basically the whole night (I SO need to take mine and start playing again...I sucked SO bad). With breaks to go to the park and eat and stuff. It's nice to know that I'm not the only vegetarian around.... and it's been forever since I've had a veggie burger... hmm.... we should have some for dinner sometime....
It was so funny when we went to the park, we played hide-and-seek and first round, me and a group of other people (almost half if not more) just ditched and went back to the house. Then it consisted of my group trying to find a place to hide and we eventually deiced to hide in a little kiddy house... Haha. It was so stuffed and hot. But so worth it once they found us like, 5 minutes later.
After more just messing around, she opened her presents. Most of them cards, but I mean, honestly, who would not want cash on their b-day?? Lol. So, I'm sure she was happy with what she got.
Then cake.... :D. My motto, "Cake is cake". It doesn't matter what kind, I'll most likely eat it. Unless it's like fruit cake or something. Then it's like... eewwww.
So I get a slice of carrot cake (it was neglected... :( I felt bad for it). It was pretty good.... except the frosting tasted a little weird, but hey... it was still good.
More messing around... went out side and did a little basket ball. Then was the pinata. The first person knocked the string connecting off, so then the rope was tied around the head... and then the HEAD got knocked off... So they ductape it together. Just in time for MY turn. So I basically have the hardest one...
But it eventually does get completely torn apart. You couldn't even tell what it was anymore! (In the beginning it was spiderman).
After that we continue watching Dane Cook... and by like 10:15 I'm the last person (who is NOT related) still there. ^^'. Haha. So I call my sister to come pick me up and by the time I'm home it's like 10:20.
I'm in bed by like 10:40-ish. Not asleep until who KNOWS when. (Though my guess is that by 11:30 I was asleep).
Whew. Long night, eh? But it was so fun. And of course... I was the odd one out because I only had like.... two sprites while everyone else had like... 3+. Seriously, I just barely finished my second soda while we were doing the pinata. Ah well, I guess I'm not much of a soda person.
Thursday
:\
^That's totally my mood as of right now.
This week started off great. But it's kind of winding down. I'm not really that happy right now... but I'm not sad or anything. Just kinda there. Apathetic. You know? I'm not a huge fan of it though. I hate feeling nothing. It sends me back to when I was in 6th grade. (<----not a good year!!!)
Hmmm... Tuesday just went in a blur. I'm not even sure what happened that day. Just kinda... went by. All the normal classes and everything. Nothing too exciting, other than doing a lab in science.
Yesterday... that was pretty good. Choir was a free-for-all because the teacher wasn't there. Math I had a test, so no homework. (Thank goodness! Because I went to the library that day) Then English was more testing. So I got some time to just sit and read and get mellowed out. (And organize my English binder)
Then today was actually pretty chilly. Of course, I just go ahead and put on a short-sleeved shirt. LOL. Anyway, so I get to school and then first is PE. We go outside and run the mile. (When it's like 40- some odd degrees). Obviously most people tried to finish really fast. Me? new fastest time! (>< 12:08 I mean, it's not that fast. But it's fast for me).
Then it's science where we walked to this dam and did some more lab stuffs. Then walked back. It was pretty pleasant. Though my hands got really cold. Anyway, after that was geography...
UGH! I hate that class so much. It was OK before, but now it's like *headdesk*. We got new seats today. *joy* /not. One table partner is OK... but the other one... just... he doesn't annoy me, but he and the other table partner don't get along very well. It is going to be a frustrating 7 weeks with them.
*headdesk*
I totally feel that like the past two days I've been abandoning my friend at lunch. Like, I know she's working on stuff... but I still feel bad for leaving her behind and not like, taking her with me. I know my friends could learn to accept her and stuff. Though... I'm not sure if SHE would want to be friends with them....
Who knows? It's weird. I want to meld them together and stuff, but it probably won't happen. So it goes. I should take more of a stand on these things...
DARN YOU APATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that I must say: I'm so happy that a some-what good friend of mine lives less than a mile away from me... Maybe I'll actually get to do stuff with her! Heh... it's all about actually planning these things.
One more day. Then the weekend... and then school. UGH. It's not fun anymore. :\
Oh... one last thing. I am like... so sleep deprived today. I was up at 2:30 AM, fell asleep, up at 5:30 AM then went to sleep and up at 6:38 and stayed up for 20 min before I had to get out of bed. :(
^That's totally my mood as of right now.
This week started off great. But it's kind of winding down. I'm not really that happy right now... but I'm not sad or anything. Just kinda there. Apathetic. You know? I'm not a huge fan of it though. I hate feeling nothing. It sends me back to when I was in 6th grade. (<----not a good year!!!)
Hmmm... Tuesday just went in a blur. I'm not even sure what happened that day. Just kinda... went by. All the normal classes and everything. Nothing too exciting, other than doing a lab in science.
Yesterday... that was pretty good. Choir was a free-for-all because the teacher wasn't there. Math I had a test, so no homework. (Thank goodness! Because I went to the library that day) Then English was more testing. So I got some time to just sit and read and get mellowed out. (And organize my English binder)
Then today was actually pretty chilly. Of course, I just go ahead and put on a short-sleeved shirt. LOL. Anyway, so I get to school and then first is PE. We go outside and run the mile. (When it's like 40- some odd degrees). Obviously most people tried to finish really fast. Me? new fastest time! (>< 12:08 I mean, it's not that fast. But it's fast for me).
Then it's science where we walked to this dam and did some more lab stuffs. Then walked back. It was pretty pleasant. Though my hands got really cold. Anyway, after that was geography...
UGH! I hate that class so much. It was OK before, but now it's like *headdesk*. We got new seats today. *joy* /not. One table partner is OK... but the other one... just... he doesn't annoy me, but he and the other table partner don't get along very well. It is going to be a frustrating 7 weeks with them.
*headdesk*
I totally feel that like the past two days I've been abandoning my friend at lunch. Like, I know she's working on stuff... but I still feel bad for leaving her behind and not like, taking her with me. I know my friends could learn to accept her and stuff. Though... I'm not sure if SHE would want to be friends with them....
Who knows? It's weird. I want to meld them together and stuff, but it probably won't happen. So it goes. I should take more of a stand on these things...
DARN YOU APATHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that I must say: I'm so happy that a some-what good friend of mine lives less than a mile away from me... Maybe I'll actually get to do stuff with her! Heh... it's all about actually planning these things.
One more day. Then the weekend... and then school. UGH. It's not fun anymore. :\
Oh... one last thing. I am like... so sleep deprived today. I was up at 2:30 AM, fell asleep, up at 5:30 AM then went to sleep and up at 6:38 and stayed up for 20 min before I had to get out of bed. :(
Monday
Yay for time to think about absolutely nothing!
Haaa.... so today should've been a bad day. Like, really bad. Buuuut..... It was actually pretty nice.
First off, I overslept my alarm... again. I think it's time to change it. It's like, the 5th time that I've overslept it. :\ not good. Oh well. At least I'm still ready on time-ish. Maybe like a minute over, but that minute does not matter since I'm sill at school on time.
Secondly, the lead in my compass broke. Joy. No spare lead. It's not very fun. Plus, it keeps falling out so I get frustrated when I have to do circles and stuff... which in geometry, is very important. (or so it seems right now)
And thirdly... I er... forgot my PE clothes at home. I was totally stressed about that, but it didn't turn out too bad. I just got sent to 'TOC' which stands for 'Time Out Center'... less than an hour (maybe like 40-45 min?) in total silence. Pssh... a HUGE punishment... /not. I was just going through songs that where stuck in my head, planned a bit of my story and read the posters in the room. Mehh.... it seriously was not too bad. Not like I wanna go back anytime soon though. :P
But, erm.... the rest of my day was actually pretty good.
Before PE was just some time spent talking a joking with my friends... (and crush). Very awesome.
Then was choir... which I mean, honestly... I can't help but smile in that class. Whether or not the teacher could tell if I was having a bad day, it just seemed extra nice. :D I LOVE my choir teacher. He is HILARIOUS. Except when he's mean. Then... that just sucks. You are in a bad mood if he is. Haa... but he's not mean that often.
Mm... then science our teacher was explaining what we'd do tomorrow... so we had to go outside for the physical demonstration (which... I still don't get fully. :P There's a reason... it's not a good one at all, but there is one!!). So there's like, two/three rows of kids... and I am in the second one... bad idea. Everyone in front was taller than me... but who isn't???
So my crush comes up and somewhat forcefully nudges me, but it didn't hurt. It was more like him walking into me. Eh, either way, he got my attention. So I'm standing there, talking to him. The conversation went somewhat like this:
Me: "Hey. What's up?"
Him: "Nothing much. You?"
Me: "Meh. Do you get what he's saying?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Ha... me either. Well, maybe like *this* much. But still"
and then some other stuff...
Him: "So did anyone come over? You know, since your sister is bugging you and stuff."
Me: "No... well actually, I did go out with a friend to a corn maze. Solved it in 20 minutes when it should've taken us like, an hour." *chuckle*
Him: "Oh nice"
Some more stuff
Him: "So do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: *is shocked at first* "Haha. No."
Him: *something about saying "good, I don't want to make him jealous"*
Me: "Don't worry... I wouldn't be acting like this if I did have a boyfriend"
*doesn't let him answer"
Me: "Do you have a girlfriend?" (<----something my friends wanted me to ask him)
Him: "Yes but not currently."
Me: *laugh* Yeah, that makes total sense
Him: "What I meant was, I did until a week ago"
Me: thinking: *YES! HE IS SINGLE!!!!!!!* "Oh."
Him: "Do your parents ever get on you for not having a boyfriend?"
Me: "Ha... it's like a family joke. They always ask 'so, how 's the boyfriend?' and I'm all '-_-'."
Him: *laughs*
Me: "Yeah. But if I ever get a boyfriend, they won't know."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Well, my mom has a weird view on people dating."
Him: "Really? What is it?"
Me: "That uh, people shouldn't date until they're out of college. So I'm like, 'well... I'm not telling you when I get a boyfriend... nor will I tell dad.'" *I also tell him the story of some of the drama that happened over the summer.*
Him: "Well, I fake-dated a girl once just to get my family off my back"
Me: "That's mean... "
But then he kinda just went back to his friends after another side hug. (I totally gave him an extra 'hard' squeeze that time). Oh! And through the whole time we're standing like, shoulder to shoulder. I could feel him right next to me the whole time. I was SOOO tempted to go and hold his hand... but since I really wasn't looking him the eye through the conversation (hey... awkward position for my head. Not my fault) But I didn't... since I was holding a meter stick in my hand... and it was just awkward.
But it was nice. ^^
Anyway, since that whole conversation had me paying more attention to him than our teacher... I just stayed with my partner for extra explanation. And... I still have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow, but I have a pretty darn good idea.
Which left me thinking.... when did he break up with his girlfriend? Lol. Must've been like, RIGHT before I asked him or something... either that or he just rebounds fast... heh.
Any who, I eat lunch with my friend and once I come back from returning my book (that was just a bit overdue...) she was writing and told me about her story... which totally left me in wonder. She's a pretty darn good writer. I really want to read her story soon.
mmm... I really need to stop procrastinating. There were some notes that I should've done for English class... but I lied and made up some notes and still got to work with a group. In truth, for reading I was ahead. Like.... two chapters ish? But yeah, no notes >< I was soooo gonna do them... eventually. :P
Yeah... procrastinating and me are like peanut butter and jelly. We are just best pals. I still get some of the more important things done... so obviously notes wasn't that important to me. And well... neither is studying...
He.. ^^'. I got a 77% on my geography test.... REALLY bad for me. I'm still on the grading system where 77 is like... a D and not a C. Either way, 77 is just not good for me. I'm used to the 80's and up. Seriously, if I had gotten like, an 80, I wouldn't have done too badly for me... meh. Oh well. It wasn't too bad for just studying like, two minutes before the test... and that day was just ever-so-slightly dramatic. (Aka- last thursday... gee... what happened that day? :P). Anyway... not like I'm going to start studying until next year. That year I'm really going to try and be a good student. That's kinda when I should start looking into colleges... since I have NO idea what I want to do right now. It's just floating in space...
Mmmm.... yeah. I think that's just about my day. Had to do a map in geography, but nothing too special or fun. Uhm... yeah. That's just about the whole day in a not-so-short summary. :)
Haaa.... so today should've been a bad day. Like, really bad. Buuuut..... It was actually pretty nice.
First off, I overslept my alarm... again. I think it's time to change it. It's like, the 5th time that I've overslept it. :\ not good. Oh well. At least I'm still ready on time-ish. Maybe like a minute over, but that minute does not matter since I'm sill at school on time.
Secondly, the lead in my compass broke. Joy. No spare lead. It's not very fun. Plus, it keeps falling out so I get frustrated when I have to do circles and stuff... which in geometry, is very important. (or so it seems right now)
And thirdly... I er... forgot my PE clothes at home. I was totally stressed about that, but it didn't turn out too bad. I just got sent to 'TOC' which stands for 'Time Out Center'... less than an hour (maybe like 40-45 min?) in total silence. Pssh... a HUGE punishment... /not. I was just going through songs that where stuck in my head, planned a bit of my story and read the posters in the room. Mehh.... it seriously was not too bad. Not like I wanna go back anytime soon though. :P
But, erm.... the rest of my day was actually pretty good.
Before PE was just some time spent talking a joking with my friends... (and crush). Very awesome.
Then was choir... which I mean, honestly... I can't help but smile in that class. Whether or not the teacher could tell if I was having a bad day, it just seemed extra nice. :D I LOVE my choir teacher. He is HILARIOUS. Except when he's mean. Then... that just sucks. You are in a bad mood if he is. Haa... but he's not mean that often.
Mm... then science our teacher was explaining what we'd do tomorrow... so we had to go outside for the physical demonstration (which... I still don't get fully. :P There's a reason... it's not a good one at all, but there is one!!). So there's like, two/three rows of kids... and I am in the second one... bad idea. Everyone in front was taller than me... but who isn't???
So my crush comes up and somewhat forcefully nudges me, but it didn't hurt. It was more like him walking into me. Eh, either way, he got my attention. So I'm standing there, talking to him. The conversation went somewhat like this:
Me: "Hey. What's up?"
Him: "Nothing much. You?"
Me: "Meh. Do you get what he's saying?"
Him: "Nope."
Me: "Ha... me either. Well, maybe like *this* much. But still"
and then some other stuff...
Him: "So did anyone come over? You know, since your sister is bugging you and stuff."
Me: "No... well actually, I did go out with a friend to a corn maze. Solved it in 20 minutes when it should've taken us like, an hour." *chuckle*
Him: "Oh nice"
Some more stuff
Him: "So do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: *is shocked at first* "Haha. No."
Him: *something about saying "good, I don't want to make him jealous"*
Me: "Don't worry... I wouldn't be acting like this if I did have a boyfriend"
*doesn't let him answer"
Me: "Do you have a girlfriend?" (<----something my friends wanted me to ask him)
Him: "Yes but not currently."
Me: *laugh* Yeah, that makes total sense
Him: "What I meant was, I did until a week ago"
Me: thinking: *YES! HE IS SINGLE!!!!!!!* "Oh."
Him: "Do your parents ever get on you for not having a boyfriend?"
Me: "Ha... it's like a family joke. They always ask 'so, how 's the boyfriend?' and I'm all '-_-'."
Him: *laughs*
Me: "Yeah. But if I ever get a boyfriend, they won't know."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Well, my mom has a weird view on people dating."
Him: "Really? What is it?"
Me: "That uh, people shouldn't date until they're out of college. So I'm like, 'well... I'm not telling you when I get a boyfriend... nor will I tell dad.'" *I also tell him the story of some of the drama that happened over the summer.*
Him: "Well, I fake-dated a girl once just to get my family off my back"
Me: "That's mean... "
But then he kinda just went back to his friends after another side hug. (I totally gave him an extra 'hard' squeeze that time). Oh! And through the whole time we're standing like, shoulder to shoulder. I could feel him right next to me the whole time. I was SOOO tempted to go and hold his hand... but since I really wasn't looking him the eye through the conversation (hey... awkward position for my head. Not my fault) But I didn't... since I was holding a meter stick in my hand... and it was just awkward.
But it was nice. ^^
Anyway, since that whole conversation had me paying more attention to him than our teacher... I just stayed with my partner for extra explanation. And... I still have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow, but I have a pretty darn good idea.
Which left me thinking.... when did he break up with his girlfriend? Lol. Must've been like, RIGHT before I asked him or something... either that or he just rebounds fast... heh.
Any who, I eat lunch with my friend and once I come back from returning my book (that was just a bit overdue...) she was writing and told me about her story... which totally left me in wonder. She's a pretty darn good writer. I really want to read her story soon.
mmm... I really need to stop procrastinating. There were some notes that I should've done for English class... but I lied and made up some notes and still got to work with a group. In truth, for reading I was ahead. Like.... two chapters ish? But yeah, no notes >< I was soooo gonna do them... eventually. :P
Yeah... procrastinating and me are like peanut butter and jelly. We are just best pals. I still get some of the more important things done... so obviously notes wasn't that important to me. And well... neither is studying...
He.. ^^'. I got a 77% on my geography test.... REALLY bad for me. I'm still on the grading system where 77 is like... a D and not a C. Either way, 77 is just not good for me. I'm used to the 80's and up. Seriously, if I had gotten like, an 80, I wouldn't have done too badly for me... meh. Oh well. It wasn't too bad for just studying like, two minutes before the test... and that day was just ever-so-slightly dramatic. (Aka- last thursday... gee... what happened that day? :P). Anyway... not like I'm going to start studying until next year. That year I'm really going to try and be a good student. That's kinda when I should start looking into colleges... since I have NO idea what I want to do right now. It's just floating in space...
Mmmm.... yeah. I think that's just about my day. Had to do a map in geography, but nothing too special or fun. Uhm... yeah. That's just about the whole day in a not-so-short summary. :)
Thursday
O. M. G.
I think that is about the only thing that has been going through my mind... almost all day.
So I FINALLY got the nerve to do what my friends have been bugging me to do...
Yesterday I was going to, but in the end, time was the only problem...
Before I go on, I guess I should say what I'm talking about. Basically, for the past like, ever, my friends have been bugging me to ask this guy I like to hang out.
And so yesterday I saw him in the halls and I asked to talk to him after school. But... by the end of the day, I realized that I REALLY need to catch the bus. Either that or walk home in the nice cold rain. Yeah, not happening.
So today, in PE, he comes over to me and asks me where I was yesterday. So I tell him and then he asks what I wanted to tell him... and so, FINALLY I said, "Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime.." (I don't know how I managed to say that without stuttering like, a million times...)
And so I think at first he was a little surprised, but said yes.
So on goes PE class and then we go to science. So, we wait outside because our teacher isn't there yet... so we just talk a little about like when and stuff... and as we're going in... he says that some of his friends thought that when I asked to talk to him yesterday that we were going to like... make out or something... I'm not sure. It was just weird.
I noticed that after I asked, he seemed a lot more like, playful and talkative to me. It was kind of nice, actually.
It was so weird, during lunch he like came up to me, and half hugged me and told me that the number of people was up to 17 (IN A DAY AND A HALF!!!). And my friends looked at me weird... so he goes, "You can explain it to them if you want"...
"Uh... I'd rather not" (haha. Seriously... I said that exactly. I felt like banging my head against a wall at that moment)
So, you know, we finish lunch and then go to our last class, geography. I get into class and study for like, 2 minutes (aka- re-reading my review). And he comes in and tell me... 23 people (??? 6 people in like, 15-25 minutes???)
And then my friend is there, and she has no clue what's going on... so I'm left to explain it to her. (-_-). So awkward.
That was basically my day. Oh-so weird/awkward. I could not BELIEVE it. But it was a pretty good day, so I'm happy with it...
OH- and a side note, I've taken one of my dreams and am trying to make it into a story... :D
I think that is about the only thing that has been going through my mind... almost all day.
So I FINALLY got the nerve to do what my friends have been bugging me to do...
Yesterday I was going to, but in the end, time was the only problem...
Before I go on, I guess I should say what I'm talking about. Basically, for the past like, ever, my friends have been bugging me to ask this guy I like to hang out.
And so yesterday I saw him in the halls and I asked to talk to him after school. But... by the end of the day, I realized that I REALLY need to catch the bus. Either that or walk home in the nice cold rain. Yeah, not happening.
So today, in PE, he comes over to me and asks me where I was yesterday. So I tell him and then he asks what I wanted to tell him... and so, FINALLY I said, "Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime.." (I don't know how I managed to say that without stuttering like, a million times...)
And so I think at first he was a little surprised, but said yes.
So on goes PE class and then we go to science. So, we wait outside because our teacher isn't there yet... so we just talk a little about like when and stuff... and as we're going in... he says that some of his friends thought that when I asked to talk to him yesterday that we were going to like... make out or something... I'm not sure. It was just weird.
I noticed that after I asked, he seemed a lot more like, playful and talkative to me. It was kind of nice, actually.
It was so weird, during lunch he like came up to me, and half hugged me and told me that the number of people was up to 17 (IN A DAY AND A HALF!!!). And my friends looked at me weird... so he goes, "You can explain it to them if you want"...
"Uh... I'd rather not" (haha. Seriously... I said that exactly. I felt like banging my head against a wall at that moment)
So, you know, we finish lunch and then go to our last class, geography. I get into class and study for like, 2 minutes (aka- re-reading my review). And he comes in and tell me... 23 people (??? 6 people in like, 15-25 minutes???)
And then my friend is there, and she has no clue what's going on... so I'm left to explain it to her. (-_-). So awkward.
That was basically my day. Oh-so weird/awkward. I could not BELIEVE it. But it was a pretty good day, so I'm happy with it...
OH- and a side note, I've taken one of my dreams and am trying to make it into a story... :D
Tuesday
Dreams galore!!
So I normally don't remember my dreams... but now I've remembered three that I've had in like, four or five days. It's odd, really. One was a pleasant dream. Another was like rejection... not so good. and another was just plain odd. It felt a little like 'Lord of the rings'. And I'm actually going to go through the dreams and see if some key words can give me a meaning. :D
First dream: so I'm on a beach with white sand. and then all of a sudden, the water starts coming in... and so it stops and I'm sitting on a sand dune. The water is clear blue. It's so pretty... and I guess I'm with some people 'cause someone pulls out a worm and throws it into the pool of water... and a cat fish comes out. this happens a few more times and then it just disappears....a few moments later... a panther comes up and someone says that they feel the panther has a strong connection with me (???) but I guess I refuse to listen and I turn my back... and the panther touches its nose to the small of my back and leaves... and I guess there's a fence-type thing around us and there's a dwarf walking around it...
Very weird. Though, I liked it a lot... even though it made me over sleep my alarm.
Key Words/meanings:
Beach- the meeting of two sates of mind. (Sand- rational and mental. Ocean- Irrational, unsteady).
White- Pure, perfection, peace. Or, alternatively, death
Water rising- (unclear) but maybe overwhelming emotions?
Calm, clear blue water- in tune with spirituality, peace of mind, serenity
Worm- weakness, negativity
Catfish- ? Nothing
Panther- lurking danger, power, grace
Back- attitudes, strengths, burdens and stance in the world
Nose- energy, intuition, and wisdom and curiosity
Fence- obstacle or barrier
Dwarf- well-grounded and connected to nature and the earth, may mean an aspect of yourself that is not fully developed or has been repressed
Calm: end or resolution or a conflict
Second dream: my rejection dream is really short and simple... so I'm waiting in a line (idk if it's with someone or not) and I see my crush (or at least someone who looks like him) and he's on crutches. so I go up to him and say "Hi" and all that. then I say something about him being in a cast... and then he goes, "who are you??" and then I realize that it's not him, just someone who looks similar
Very... ouch. I so hope that it does not happen in real life. That would just suck...
Key Words/meaning:
Line- ?
Crush- positive... also means that I will have contact with them soon
Crutches- need to lean on others
Third Dream:apparently I have taken Frodo (main charries) part... and there's this chain of people on a mountain... and someone's like, messing up the chain. I have to find out who and take their spot. So I do... and since we are apparently on a ledge, there's the bad guy underneath the ledge. He kinda looks like the leader bad guy in mulan... except it's completely grey-scaled and his left eye is glowing yellow... 0.o and then it just fades out....
I should've been freaked out by that dream, but I wasn't. It was actually kind of cool.
Key words/meanings:
Chain- need to break away from a routine
Mountain- Major obstacles/ achieved goals
Ledge- ?
Bad Guy/Rival- hesitant in asserting self
Glowing- enlightenment
Yellow- Cowardice (since I'm labeling it as a bad dream)
So I normally don't remember my dreams... but now I've remembered three that I've had in like, four or five days. It's odd, really. One was a pleasant dream. Another was like rejection... not so good. and another was just plain odd. It felt a little like 'Lord of the rings'. And I'm actually going to go through the dreams and see if some key words can give me a meaning. :D
First dream: so I'm on a beach with white sand. and then all of a sudden, the water starts coming in... and so it stops and I'm sitting on a sand dune. The water is clear blue. It's so pretty... and I guess I'm with some people 'cause someone pulls out a worm and throws it into the pool of water... and a cat fish comes out. this happens a few more times and then it just disappears....a few moments later... a panther comes up and someone says that they feel the panther has a strong connection with me (???) but I guess I refuse to listen and I turn my back... and the panther touches its nose to the small of my back and leaves... and I guess there's a fence-type thing around us and there's a dwarf walking around it...
Very weird. Though, I liked it a lot... even though it made me over sleep my alarm.
Key Words/meanings:
Beach- the meeting of two sates of mind. (Sand- rational and mental. Ocean- Irrational, unsteady).
White- Pure, perfection, peace. Or, alternatively, death
Water rising- (unclear) but maybe overwhelming emotions?
Calm, clear blue water- in tune with spirituality, peace of mind, serenity
Worm- weakness, negativity
Catfish- ? Nothing
Panther- lurking danger, power, grace
Back- attitudes, strengths, burdens and stance in the world
Nose- energy, intuition, and wisdom and curiosity
Fence- obstacle or barrier
Dwarf- well-grounded and connected to nature and the earth, may mean an aspect of yourself that is not fully developed or has been repressed
Calm: end or resolution or a conflict
Second dream: my rejection dream is really short and simple... so I'm waiting in a line (idk if it's with someone or not) and I see my crush (or at least someone who looks like him) and he's on crutches. so I go up to him and say "Hi" and all that. then I say something about him being in a cast... and then he goes, "who are you??" and then I realize that it's not him, just someone who looks similar
Very... ouch. I so hope that it does not happen in real life. That would just suck...
Key Words/meaning:
Line- ?
Crush- positive... also means that I will have contact with them soon
Crutches- need to lean on others
Third Dream:apparently I have taken Frodo (main charries) part... and there's this chain of people on a mountain... and someone's like, messing up the chain. I have to find out who and take their spot. So I do... and since we are apparently on a ledge, there's the bad guy underneath the ledge. He kinda looks like the leader bad guy in mulan... except it's completely grey-scaled and his left eye is glowing yellow... 0.o and then it just fades out....
I should've been freaked out by that dream, but I wasn't. It was actually kind of cool.
Key words/meanings:
Chain- need to break away from a routine
Mountain- Major obstacles/ achieved goals
Ledge- ?
Bad Guy/Rival- hesitant in asserting self
Glowing- enlightenment
Yellow- Cowardice (since I'm labeling it as a bad dream)
Friday
Alright, so this is just the one place that I'm using to just get everything out. I often have trust issues, so I don't talk to people much... that and I'm just shy. There's some things that I can't really tell anyone. So I might as well tell the world anonymously.
There's nothing much to say about me, or my life. Other than it's really boring. But now that I've starting high school, it's like drama central. I find the pleasure in smallest things now. It seems weird, but that's how I feel like I am right now.
I think A LOT. I have too much time to think... and be inspired. I just zone out... my imagination has a life of its own. It creates for some fun daydreaming.
Anyhow, on to what I've been thinking about lately.
Alright, lets start with the fact that it's only 9-10 weeks into the school year. For a short time, I really felt that this one guy likes/d me. The signs seem blatantly obvious. But, at the same time... I doubt. Does it really mean he likes me? Is he just being friendly?
It's been on my mind constantly. Then, one day I finally added him to my myspace. I didn't expect him to reply back soon, I mean, he told me that he only checks his myspace like, once a month since it crashes his computer. (I'm with him on that boat. I'm barely on mine... only to check messages, mostly). So, I get home from school one day, and he added me.
So, I go check out his profile. Just to get a little insight to who he is. My heart sinks a little when I see in his status, that he is in a relationship. That's been getting me thinking about the week or two that we really interacted. Is it just being friends??
I'm so afraid of asking him if he is dating someone. I know I should... but I don't doubt that he could be. He's a nice guy, and I don't see why a girl would want to pass him up. (Well, unless he's not their type...). So I'm worried. I don't know.
It's things like this that get me to doubt. I'm just not sure. I should be used to rejection by now. If it turns out he doesn't like me... well that'll make things really awkward. We have three classes together. While we don't sit right next to each other... you never know.
Guys. Relationships. Those two things together are forgein. I've been friends with guys, and nothing else. I've had crushes, but never really pursued them. It's always come back to me with a 'no'. I've gotten good at hiding my sad feelings. I never want to go back to the time where I was always sad. It just doesn't seem like 'me' right now. Not with the way I've been feeling lately.
Seriously, I've been feeling like I'm on top of the world lately. I have woken up and just felt horrible some days... but I always look forward to things that I know will happen. I always try to be in a good mood. You never know who is having a lousy day. I just try to keep on smiling... something will happen. :)
Life takes a lot of twists and turns. Your path is never straight or clear-cut. You have to chose... and sometimes you have to double back and try again. There is such a thing as second chances. Every day, you get a chance to be you. To do the right thing. To just take a chance and do something new. To share. To laugh. To brighten someone else's life.
Lately I've been feeling a little different. Something inside me has changed. I feel like I can do anything. I actually feel like I belong. That's a feeling that usually takes months for me to feel. The feeling of belonging is wonderful. Some people take it for granted. I know that I've been uprooted so many times. It takes awhile to feel like people accept me. I've just plunged feet first into a new situation... and I'm starting to get used to it. I'm really getting into the groove.
I also feel like I'm starting to get closer to God. I jsut started confirmation classes. While on a daily basis, I might not FEEL close to God. I know I am. I feel it when I'm in class.
Things have realy been going good. And they're going to get better. I can feel it. I have truly been blessed with people who care. Even if I can't tell them what's going on with my life, I at least know they are there.
Which is my next wondering...
WHY THE HECK AM I SO SHY?!?!
Haha. Seriously I've been wondering why I have such a hard time talking to people. I know I can talk to them. It's just a matter of starting the conversation. It can happen. I know it can. Maybe. The problem happend when you run out of things to talk about... It's already happened with one friend... so it's boring to be around her...
But another friend of mine and I... always have a hard time ending a conversation. It's like we connect. It's hard not to just keep on going. At least we know when we have to stop... and we usually do. But the stories just keep coming. It's hard not to smile and laugh in our conversations.
Though, how can I be so different with these people? With both, I feel like I can be myself and free... but one is just so much more fun to be with. How does that happen? It's like one has a hard time to open up. I just wonder. It was fun at first... but now I'm not too sure...
I hate the feeling of doubt. It makes you think too much on the negatives. I really don't like negative. Not any more. Second-guessing is never a fun thing to do. I hate when it becomes forced on you. You dwell too much on what happened... or what could be changed. Or even what will happen.
Which is why I always just like to live in the present. The past has happened, and you can't change it. The future has yet to happen, so don't plan on it. The present is here and now. Pay attention or it just might pass you by. You'll be left wondering what happened to your life.
It feels like I've been typing on this for awhile, I'm sure it's really long... but I tend to type a lot. Especially when I have a lot on my mind.
Well, if you managed to read all that, you deserve a prize. :D
There's nothing much to say about me, or my life. Other than it's really boring. But now that I've starting high school, it's like drama central. I find the pleasure in smallest things now. It seems weird, but that's how I feel like I am right now.
I think A LOT. I have too much time to think... and be inspired. I just zone out... my imagination has a life of its own. It creates for some fun daydreaming.
Anyhow, on to what I've been thinking about lately.
Alright, lets start with the fact that it's only 9-10 weeks into the school year. For a short time, I really felt that this one guy likes/d me. The signs seem blatantly obvious. But, at the same time... I doubt. Does it really mean he likes me? Is he just being friendly?
It's been on my mind constantly. Then, one day I finally added him to my myspace. I didn't expect him to reply back soon, I mean, he told me that he only checks his myspace like, once a month since it crashes his computer. (I'm with him on that boat. I'm barely on mine... only to check messages, mostly). So, I get home from school one day, and he added me.
So, I go check out his profile. Just to get a little insight to who he is. My heart sinks a little when I see in his status, that he is in a relationship. That's been getting me thinking about the week or two that we really interacted. Is it just being friends??
I'm so afraid of asking him if he is dating someone. I know I should... but I don't doubt that he could be. He's a nice guy, and I don't see why a girl would want to pass him up. (Well, unless he's not their type...). So I'm worried. I don't know.
It's things like this that get me to doubt. I'm just not sure. I should be used to rejection by now. If it turns out he doesn't like me... well that'll make things really awkward. We have three classes together. While we don't sit right next to each other... you never know.
Guys. Relationships. Those two things together are forgein. I've been friends with guys, and nothing else. I've had crushes, but never really pursued them. It's always come back to me with a 'no'. I've gotten good at hiding my sad feelings. I never want to go back to the time where I was always sad. It just doesn't seem like 'me' right now. Not with the way I've been feeling lately.
Seriously, I've been feeling like I'm on top of the world lately. I have woken up and just felt horrible some days... but I always look forward to things that I know will happen. I always try to be in a good mood. You never know who is having a lousy day. I just try to keep on smiling... something will happen. :)
Life takes a lot of twists and turns. Your path is never straight or clear-cut. You have to chose... and sometimes you have to double back and try again. There is such a thing as second chances. Every day, you get a chance to be you. To do the right thing. To just take a chance and do something new. To share. To laugh. To brighten someone else's life.
Lately I've been feeling a little different. Something inside me has changed. I feel like I can do anything. I actually feel like I belong. That's a feeling that usually takes months for me to feel. The feeling of belonging is wonderful. Some people take it for granted. I know that I've been uprooted so many times. It takes awhile to feel like people accept me. I've just plunged feet first into a new situation... and I'm starting to get used to it. I'm really getting into the groove.
I also feel like I'm starting to get closer to God. I jsut started confirmation classes. While on a daily basis, I might not FEEL close to God. I know I am. I feel it when I'm in class.
Things have realy been going good. And they're going to get better. I can feel it. I have truly been blessed with people who care. Even if I can't tell them what's going on with my life, I at least know they are there.
Which is my next wondering...
WHY THE HECK AM I SO SHY?!?!
Haha. Seriously I've been wondering why I have such a hard time talking to people. I know I can talk to them. It's just a matter of starting the conversation. It can happen. I know it can. Maybe. The problem happend when you run out of things to talk about... It's already happened with one friend... so it's boring to be around her...
But another friend of mine and I... always have a hard time ending a conversation. It's like we connect. It's hard not to just keep on going. At least we know when we have to stop... and we usually do. But the stories just keep coming. It's hard not to smile and laugh in our conversations.
Though, how can I be so different with these people? With both, I feel like I can be myself and free... but one is just so much more fun to be with. How does that happen? It's like one has a hard time to open up. I just wonder. It was fun at first... but now I'm not too sure...
I hate the feeling of doubt. It makes you think too much on the negatives. I really don't like negative. Not any more. Second-guessing is never a fun thing to do. I hate when it becomes forced on you. You dwell too much on what happened... or what could be changed. Or even what will happen.
Which is why I always just like to live in the present. The past has happened, and you can't change it. The future has yet to happen, so don't plan on it. The present is here and now. Pay attention or it just might pass you by. You'll be left wondering what happened to your life.
It feels like I've been typing on this for awhile, I'm sure it's really long... but I tend to type a lot. Especially when I have a lot on my mind.
Well, if you managed to read all that, you deserve a prize. :D
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