Oh boy... I think I have a happier rant today, that's not about school.
A few days ago, my sister's boyfriend started calling us a family. It's mostly a joke, I think. I mean, if you think about it, we are like a family. My sister is basically my mom, and like her boyfriend is a step dad. My sister makes all the rules and is the enforcer in the family, and he's pretty laid back and fun. Anyhow...
We were eating fondue and pistachio pudding and he apparently remembered this thing where you try to hit someone with a wooden spoon that's in your mouth. The whole idea is that, the person in the middle actually tries to hit the person on their side with a spoon, and when the person they were hitting does it, the OTHER person hits the person in the middle really hard with the spoon, making them think it's possible to hit hard :P. It's actually a lot easier to see it done than explained. But it was SO bad. I was laughing so much I started crying. Which is just the stress breaker I needed from all the history notes I was taking.
However, I have been dumped with new responsibilities. I have to make dinner every Monday night, and do a load of laundry every weekend. On top of this I'm going to be doing school (I'm trying to stay as on top of it as I can), and church choir. Stress GALORE.
I guess we'll see how that goes...
But yeah... I'm starting to get used to what is. I'm still panicked about this up coming year.
I'm ready for it to be Friday so I can have the weekend! YES. Ugh. It's only been three days. I'm already sick of ice-breaker games. I don't need to know everyone's names in the class. It's just not going to happen, I'm sorry. I'm not going to make new friends within the first week.... I'm lucky to make friends within the first six weeks. I don't socialize well... I'm a lonely creature. Ah well... whatever.
his is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us and
sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
-- 1 John 4:10
Thursday
Wednesday
I've never liked the first day of school. Because, once I get home, it always sinks in how hard this year is going to be. It's what I've thought every year since starting middle school (though middle school is so easy I scoff at it now). Yet this year... I am truly scared. I don't know if I can do it without a ton of irrational break outs. I can already feel it boiling up inside me right now.
I mean, if I look on the bright side, I have amazing teachers this year. My first period teacher is a little quirky, but she really likes teaching, I can tell. She tries to stay in line (she has a slew of mental issues), and I have a feeling I could get to like her a lot. My second period teacher, is loud and eccentric and likes to go on tangents. My third period teacher... she seems nice and everything, but I'm SO scared of the subject. I just don't think I can do Spanish 2. I'm just... I dunno. My fourth period teacher is so funny. I really like him. He is fit to teach AP Psych. I will grow to like this class a lot. Then for fifth period... I think I can end up liking that class too. Even though it's pre-calc and I hate math in general. But she's a nice teacher and I can see myself not be afraid to ask questions in that class. For sixth I have a new teacher. He is very ADD like and... he annoys me a little bit but I think I can grow to like the class, if not him. Lastly, seventh period. I dunno... I COULD like this teacher, but I'm just feeling awkward in the class. I don't really do well when it seems like all the kids know each other. I haven't been a social person, but all the other classes (save for Spanish) I've felt comfortable, at least a little bit. I'm hoping I can just shut out the students and focus on the fact that it's my favorite subject- science.
Otherwise, I'm really really really scared at the fact that my classes are going to be hard. The teachers start expecting so much and I feel like if I even slip a little bit, I'm going to fall so far behind. I know it's an unrealistic thing to worry about, but I just can't help it. I have to be so on top of everything, and I'm going to be focusing so much on homework this year. This year the load is enough where I can't just do it all in one go when I get home from school.
But I'm really happy about one thing. On this block schedule, my 2 and 4 period classes are right next to each other... literally. I have to go out one door, walk about five feet and go into the next one. So, I think I'm going to be visiting my old history teacher for a little while... which I think I'll look forward to when we turn to the block schedule. I'm also thinking of being his student aide next year because it could be fun. I mean, when I look back on what we did, nothing was that hard to grade. I even helped him grade tests one time. I'm pretty efficient at it.
Geez, school, school school. That's all that's really been on my mind for awhile. I keep going back and forth about being excited and truly scared. I guess I'll fall into the rhythm of things as time goes on. But for now, I am truly scared and reluctant to go back... no matter how many friends I get to see.
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
-- Romans 8:28
I mean, if I look on the bright side, I have amazing teachers this year. My first period teacher is a little quirky, but she really likes teaching, I can tell. She tries to stay in line (she has a slew of mental issues), and I have a feeling I could get to like her a lot. My second period teacher, is loud and eccentric and likes to go on tangents. My third period teacher... she seems nice and everything, but I'm SO scared of the subject. I just don't think I can do Spanish 2. I'm just... I dunno. My fourth period teacher is so funny. I really like him. He is fit to teach AP Psych. I will grow to like this class a lot. Then for fifth period... I think I can end up liking that class too. Even though it's pre-calc and I hate math in general. But she's a nice teacher and I can see myself not be afraid to ask questions in that class. For sixth I have a new teacher. He is very ADD like and... he annoys me a little bit but I think I can grow to like the class, if not him. Lastly, seventh period. I dunno... I COULD like this teacher, but I'm just feeling awkward in the class. I don't really do well when it seems like all the kids know each other. I haven't been a social person, but all the other classes (save for Spanish) I've felt comfortable, at least a little bit. I'm hoping I can just shut out the students and focus on the fact that it's my favorite subject- science.
Otherwise, I'm really really really scared at the fact that my classes are going to be hard. The teachers start expecting so much and I feel like if I even slip a little bit, I'm going to fall so far behind. I know it's an unrealistic thing to worry about, but I just can't help it. I have to be so on top of everything, and I'm going to be focusing so much on homework this year. This year the load is enough where I can't just do it all in one go when I get home from school.
But I'm really happy about one thing. On this block schedule, my 2 and 4 period classes are right next to each other... literally. I have to go out one door, walk about five feet and go into the next one. So, I think I'm going to be visiting my old history teacher for a little while... which I think I'll look forward to when we turn to the block schedule. I'm also thinking of being his student aide next year because it could be fun. I mean, when I look back on what we did, nothing was that hard to grade. I even helped him grade tests one time. I'm pretty efficient at it.
Geez, school, school school. That's all that's really been on my mind for awhile. I keep going back and forth about being excited and truly scared. I guess I'll fall into the rhythm of things as time goes on. But for now, I am truly scared and reluctant to go back... no matter how many friends I get to see.
We know that in all things God works for the good of those who
love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
-- Romans 8:28
Friday
One of my last days here and I spent it out on the town with a good friend of mine. We did a ton of looking around and just generally being girls.
Tomorrow I'm nerding out and watching Ninja Warrior. I love that show so much... I'm seriously going to be a spazz and anyone attempting to talk to me with get very short answers... haha.
But even though I had an amazing day today, I can't help but feel guilty. It's not about what happened today... but it's about something that I've told my most trusted people. Except for one. I honestly know I should tell them... but something is stopping me. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I'm just afraid of their reaction? I can't really say. It also feels a little awkward... though I'm not sure why...
This is a short one, as I'm not really up to say anything. I just need to think a bit.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one
another in love.
-- Ephesians 4:2
Tomorrow I'm nerding out and watching Ninja Warrior. I love that show so much... I'm seriously going to be a spazz and anyone attempting to talk to me with get very short answers... haha.
But even though I had an amazing day today, I can't help but feel guilty. It's not about what happened today... but it's about something that I've told my most trusted people. Except for one. I honestly know I should tell them... but something is stopping me. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I'm just afraid of their reaction? I can't really say. It also feels a little awkward... though I'm not sure why...
This is a short one, as I'm not really up to say anything. I just need to think a bit.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one
another in love.
-- Ephesians 4:2
Tuesday
Sweet Sixteen.... NOT.
Seriously, not a good birthday. I can overlook somethings but I'm still kinda.. ugh. I'm pretty much overreacting to everything but... you'd understand.
First and foremost- my parents forgot it was my birthday. I was waiting the whole day, waiting for them to say something. They were reminded by my sister when she called. The best part? It was at least 3 or 4PM. Considering we got up at 5AM... and I don't think they would have remembered any time soon on their own... That's my big one.
And because of the fact that I'm basically pretty PMS-y things just got on my nerves pretty quickly. Liiiikeee... being expected to drive for a long distance (it didn't happen, though). I had to go pick up my mom's car... My mom was telling me how to pack my stuff (like I haven't been packing for myself for years now...). Horrible cramps that made me only able to focus on what was outside my window. Then the whole fact of having to unpack and repack... when I could have had it done yesterday...
It's a bunch of small things... but, it all added up to not a very good day in the end.
However, when I came home and logged onto facebook I smiled greatly. I have like 15 notifications of people wishing me a happy birthday. A lot from people I don't talk to often. That just made me smile so big.
Now, as the day is drawing to a close... I think I'm pretty content. I've been left alone for most of the day, allowing me to just chill out.
Tomorrow I register for school and see my sister. Then I go back home, return a few books, hopefully get my car fixed and then the day after I'll probably plan to go back to my sister. Hopefully I'll see some people before school starts :).
He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity,
and honor.
-- Proverbs 21:21
Seriously, not a good birthday. I can overlook somethings but I'm still kinda.. ugh. I'm pretty much overreacting to everything but... you'd understand.
First and foremost- my parents forgot it was my birthday. I was waiting the whole day, waiting for them to say something. They were reminded by my sister when she called. The best part? It was at least 3 or 4PM. Considering we got up at 5AM... and I don't think they would have remembered any time soon on their own... That's my big one.
And because of the fact that I'm basically pretty PMS-y things just got on my nerves pretty quickly. Liiiikeee... being expected to drive for a long distance (it didn't happen, though). I had to go pick up my mom's car... My mom was telling me how to pack my stuff (like I haven't been packing for myself for years now...). Horrible cramps that made me only able to focus on what was outside my window. Then the whole fact of having to unpack and repack... when I could have had it done yesterday...
It's a bunch of small things... but, it all added up to not a very good day in the end.
However, when I came home and logged onto facebook I smiled greatly. I have like 15 notifications of people wishing me a happy birthday. A lot from people I don't talk to often. That just made me smile so big.
Now, as the day is drawing to a close... I think I'm pretty content. I've been left alone for most of the day, allowing me to just chill out.
Tomorrow I register for school and see my sister. Then I go back home, return a few books, hopefully get my car fixed and then the day after I'll probably plan to go back to my sister. Hopefully I'll see some people before school starts :).
He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity,
and honor.
-- Proverbs 21:21
Monday
Beautiful internet... how I have missed thee.
I'm mostly glad because now I have something to do. It's not much, but it's something. I just figured I'd update a little on my life.
Friday; July 30th. We started on our trip, I began driving. We left at about 5AM, and I drove until about 7. Switched with my dad, slept a little bit, had breakfast. I drove some more, from about 9 to 11, maybe. I did some reading, some staring out the window... some sleeping. But that's about it. I didn't do much else. I talked to a few people... mostly this one guy that I had met the day before. It was nice. Except we almost got into an accident. Eek. However, it was avoided and we all made it out unhurt. We stopped for the night somewhere in Missouri. Comfy bed, slept pretty well. The clerk reminded me of a mix between my history teacher and science teacher. It was pretty awesome.
Saturday; July 31st. Started early once more. I didn't drive at all. Normal stops and everything. Slept, read, talked to people... all in all not so exciting. I was ready for us to be done. And, soon we were. We got to my brother's house, unpacked, changed and went to church. It was an all Polish mass. Uhm.. no clue what was going on. But whatever. We came home and I just spent some time with my brother and the two kittens he's taking care of. They are SO cute. I love them... when they aren't jumping out the back door, that is.
Sunday; August 1st. Lazily woke up, got ready and went to church again... this time it was an English mass. Twas nice. Then we went home, didn't really do much... and then we went to a cousin's house. I'm not very close to him so it wasn't really that exciting. I got a ton of bug bites. I think I have like 11... oh well
And today, nothing day. I've literally, ate, read, done sudokus, and gone on the computer. I tried to figure out the TV, but I just couldn't do it. So, hopefully I'll get my brother to explain it again tonight.... hopefully. The cats were like, dying for my attention when I was down there. They were in my lap, walking all over me and purring. They so wanted to be petted... haha.
So, otherwise it's been pretty uneventful in my life.
I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your
love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
-- Psalm 59:16
I'm mostly glad because now I have something to do. It's not much, but it's something. I just figured I'd update a little on my life.
Friday; July 30th. We started on our trip, I began driving. We left at about 5AM, and I drove until about 7. Switched with my dad, slept a little bit, had breakfast. I drove some more, from about 9 to 11, maybe. I did some reading, some staring out the window... some sleeping. But that's about it. I didn't do much else. I talked to a few people... mostly this one guy that I had met the day before. It was nice. Except we almost got into an accident. Eek. However, it was avoided and we all made it out unhurt. We stopped for the night somewhere in Missouri. Comfy bed, slept pretty well. The clerk reminded me of a mix between my history teacher and science teacher. It was pretty awesome.
Saturday; July 31st. Started early once more. I didn't drive at all. Normal stops and everything. Slept, read, talked to people... all in all not so exciting. I was ready for us to be done. And, soon we were. We got to my brother's house, unpacked, changed and went to church. It was an all Polish mass. Uhm.. no clue what was going on. But whatever. We came home and I just spent some time with my brother and the two kittens he's taking care of. They are SO cute. I love them... when they aren't jumping out the back door, that is.
Sunday; August 1st. Lazily woke up, got ready and went to church again... this time it was an English mass. Twas nice. Then we went home, didn't really do much... and then we went to a cousin's house. I'm not very close to him so it wasn't really that exciting. I got a ton of bug bites. I think I have like 11... oh well
And today, nothing day. I've literally, ate, read, done sudokus, and gone on the computer. I tried to figure out the TV, but I just couldn't do it. So, hopefully I'll get my brother to explain it again tonight.... hopefully. The cats were like, dying for my attention when I was down there. They were in my lap, walking all over me and purring. They so wanted to be petted... haha.
So, otherwise it's been pretty uneventful in my life.
I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your
love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
-- Psalm 59:16
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