Life is... pretty fantastic.
Friday I was just all "Bleh" for whatever reason. (I even took an almost 3 hour nap!). Nothing too interesting, just how it was. I don't even remember why I was that way.
Saturday was a busy day. I got film and shot a few pictures (I still need to shoot a ton more...), got fabric for the sewing class I'm going to be taking (yay!), did a driving hour (hopefully I'll get my provisional next month), did some homework (choir and science... too lazy to do math. XP), and just relaxed. I had a pretty chill day that was all to myself. Loved it.
Then today... church was good but it was a little... iffy. As always, I'm in the choir so I had fun doing what I always do. And it was crowded today too. There were people standing in the back.. and that never happens during ordinary time. But it was nice. :). After that was over I headed to the other building to wait for class to start (a whole... hour and a half ish). Apparently, my ex's mom was late picking him up. I was like, "Oh... well might as well talk to him. So much better than my other options."... so we talked, for about a half hour. It was nice. Talking, laughing, awkward moments... life as normal. I'm glad that we can talk to each other without it being awkward. I'm really happy about it. After he left (pft, only another hour left to wait...) I went inside and read some. I was thinking... one year made such a difference. This time last year... I was so sure that we'd go out, so sure that maybe I'd be ready for a relationship... and well, look where it is now. A blossoming friendship. Back then, I had no idea that this was how it was going to turn out. At all. But that's life.
However, class was a touchy subject. We were talking about abortion and such. Throughout this whole class I was like, "I'm so glad that I don't have any of these situations to deal with. I'm so glad that my life has been so blessed with angels that watch over me and protect me and guide me." Of course, so does everyone else. But my angels steer me to the people, to the life, that has no worries. I can wake up in the morning and know that when I get home... there will be no drama to drag back. It makes me so happy.
My life is blessed with so many people that I could not give up. From the ones that I've fought with, the ones I've depended on, and the ones that just know how I am... they are all in my life for a reason.
That was another thing about this class... they reaffirmed the one thing that I am always pleading with God to know... "God has a plan for everyone. Even from before you were conceived, he knew you." I'm always asking God and wondering... why am I put here on earth? What is the reason for my life? And then I realize... maybe my siblings wouldn't have a father. Maybe that friend of mine would be no longer here... maybe my purpose has yet to come. Maybe I'm just living this life until I get to my purpose. My calling has not yet been revealed. I know for sure that I will be the child that is going to stay with the church.
Besides my parents... I am one of the most... "Faith-full" ones of my family (not including cousins obviously, because then I'd probably fall along the way). My oldest sister... doesn't even go to church. I feel sorry for my niece, as she'll never get baptized. To not know the Lord... it hurts me a little when I think about it. Such a beautiful blessing... I hope she finds the Lord when she is older. Then my brother... he probably doesn't go often. My other sister just goes to church then goes home. However, I am on church ground for 4 1/2 hours every Sunday. I'm at practice for an hour to an hour and a half. I'm not complaining at all. I love it. it's such a beautiful thing. I love that I'm at church so much. It's a total 180 from a few years ago. I used to hate church, cross my arms and practically fall asleep. But now... I'm in the choir, my prayers being lifted up as I sing. I sometimes can't wait to get to church.
It's so amazing how God works in our lives. It truly is. Maybe to a person just meeting me or even looking at me... I don't seem like such a devout Catholic... but I am. Maybe I'm too shy to do the actions I should, but there's the intent. I just need to break open a little bit more and actually do it. Maybe I need to pray more, but God knows what I want. I just need to voice it. Maybe I don't do everything a good Catholic should do... but I do a heck of a lot more than some of the Catholics I know.
I've gone on such a rant about God today... I truly didn't mean to but I suppose I am inspired. I'm not sure why this week was so different from the others, but it is. I hope some of my enthusiasm will spread to other people. I hope I can keep this as I'm waking up at 6:30 tomorrow.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
I have always loved this verse. The other night I looked at my bible, and I have this bookmarked. Today, it was one of the readings. I think it just fits for today. I love you all. And I hope God's love embraces everyone.
Sunday
Wednesday
I was just reaffirmed of something. I know why I'm single. I love it so much.My friends are the most amazing things on earth. Now, one of my friends in real life knows about this guy that... things are very complicated with. We met online, he's 20 and lives in Arizona. More importantly... he likes me (or did), and I like him. If we could meet... (and me not get raped and such) I would be so happy. He is such an amazing guy... except for the fact that he just won't talk to me for weeks on end! It frustrates me greatly.
However, today my friend asked about him. I was like "He's ignoring me. Still." She goes into this uproar (that's totally her, I appreciated the sentiment). I decided long before she asked me... that I'm just going to stop talking to this guy until he talks to me first. Then I'll be sure he actually wants to talk to me. It's... it's going to be hard for me because I like to make amends ASAP. :\. However, I just have to push that aside and realize that he's going to have to want to be my friend and treat me like one before anything else. He can do whatever... but I'll still be here when he needs someone to talk to. I know he'll always be there for me. Maybe it's not the ideal situation, but this is what I have to do. I can't reason with him and I can't convince him of anything. He's just as stubborn as I am. But I like him anyway. *sigh*.
It's totally not what any of my other friends would say, but I know in my heart that I need to do this. But... if I know this has to be done... why do I feel so guilty? I feel like I'm just giving up. It's not something I'm proud of. I tend to be persistent to the point of being annoying... maybe even past that. It's just not right... oh well.
Enough about that.
Life is... tiring. I can't wait for break... which means it needs to be March like... tomorrow. I'm soooo tired. And plus I have a research paper I need to start working on. Blarg. I go at my own pace. I'll probably do most of it over the weekend. It's not that hard. Notes. Citations. I just need a library and I'm good. *shrug*
Two things to be oh so excited for...
The Last Airbender posters were released... yesterday. They are gorgeous. Love 'em. Sure they aren't perfect... but I can't do any better. So I'll accept them for what they are. Which is amazingggg.
Secondly... Sasuke 23&24 are airing in April! :D. I can't wait. It seems like they aired such a long time ago... but in reality... 24 aired on New Years Day. hehe. I'll be thinking about that a lot. I've seen both tournaments... but in Japanese. They will fail in English, but at least I can understand it. :P
I think... I'm going to start posting bible verses at the end of my posts. It'll be a wonderful thing to end off with...
So I'll start today. :)
"Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." — Ephesians 6:12-13
However, today my friend asked about him. I was like "He's ignoring me. Still." She goes into this uproar (that's totally her, I appreciated the sentiment). I decided long before she asked me... that I'm just going to stop talking to this guy until he talks to me first. Then I'll be sure he actually wants to talk to me. It's... it's going to be hard for me because I like to make amends ASAP. :\. However, I just have to push that aside and realize that he's going to have to want to be my friend and treat me like one before anything else. He can do whatever... but I'll still be here when he needs someone to talk to. I know he'll always be there for me. Maybe it's not the ideal situation, but this is what I have to do. I can't reason with him and I can't convince him of anything. He's just as stubborn as I am. But I like him anyway. *sigh*.
It's totally not what any of my other friends would say, but I know in my heart that I need to do this. But... if I know this has to be done... why do I feel so guilty? I feel like I'm just giving up. It's not something I'm proud of. I tend to be persistent to the point of being annoying... maybe even past that. It's just not right... oh well.
Enough about that.
Life is... tiring. I can't wait for break... which means it needs to be March like... tomorrow. I'm soooo tired. And plus I have a research paper I need to start working on. Blarg. I go at my own pace. I'll probably do most of it over the weekend. It's not that hard. Notes. Citations. I just need a library and I'm good. *shrug*
Two things to be oh so excited for...
The Last Airbender posters were released... yesterday. They are gorgeous. Love 'em. Sure they aren't perfect... but I can't do any better. So I'll accept them for what they are. Which is amazingggg.
Secondly... Sasuke 23&24 are airing in April! :D. I can't wait. It seems like they aired such a long time ago... but in reality... 24 aired on New Years Day. hehe. I'll be thinking about that a lot. I've seen both tournaments... but in Japanese. They will fail in English, but at least I can understand it. :P
I think... I'm going to start posting bible verses at the end of my posts. It'll be a wonderful thing to end off with...
So I'll start today. :)
"Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." — Ephesians 6:12-13
I love how I can have a horrendous day, but by the time I'm leaving campus I feel great. This morning in photo, I was alright but my mood went down the longer I was in that class. Third I felt pretty crappy throughout, but when our director took over it was pretty good. There was a point where he was getting us to say the word "fricative". To make us enthusiastic, he has to be over the top. And with that word... you spit when you say it enthusiastically. So... he was standing right in front of me, but I wasn't looking up. So he says "fricative" and apparently he spit on me. XP. I didn't notice until I felt a hand on my shoulder, and it was him, wiping it off. XD. That made me smile greatly.
History was alright. Nothing amazing, but I did feel a little down. Lunch was awesome because of my sci-fi buddies making jokes about what we were watching. And food. I had some good food today. Then English we started on our comedy portion. It was great. I love it when someone laughing is so much more funny than the joke. I left in bright spirits.
Then it was driving. Ick. I don't know how to back out of a parking space. Still. D:. It also frustrated me that my sister was yelling at me, too. :(. Anyhow... it turned out OK I suppose.
Practice was pretty good... even though the director gets stressed easily. She was so angry it was very saddening. Oh wells. And that is all.
History was alright. Nothing amazing, but I did feel a little down. Lunch was awesome because of my sci-fi buddies making jokes about what we were watching. And food. I had some good food today. Then English we started on our comedy portion. It was great. I love it when someone laughing is so much more funny than the joke. I left in bright spirits.
Then it was driving. Ick. I don't know how to back out of a parking space. Still. D:. It also frustrated me that my sister was yelling at me, too. :(. Anyhow... it turned out OK I suppose.
Practice was pretty good... even though the director gets stressed easily. She was so angry it was very saddening. Oh wells. And that is all.
Tuesday
I believe this is my 100th post. It's going to be a sad one, as I have a lot to unleash in 15 min.
That's it. I'm truly done and over with guys. I know I've said this before, but I really mean it this time. I am not going to be a girl that goes back to the boyfriend that dumped them... I mean, it's not my situation but I'm not going back to this guy. He is horrible. I mean, when we talk, and I mean really talk, it's fantastic. However, when it's times like these when he won't talk to me about important things... it pisses me off. Greatly. I don't want to have to force news out of him. I know something happened and he's not telling me. I don't want to have to make him tell me. I'm done trying to be his... I don't even know. I want to be his friend... it's just so gosh darn HARD! :\
Anyhow... I'm doing pretty well. I got an A on my history test (and it was HARD! But I only got like one or two questions wrong... soo...). Math is going great. I am holding a B in there (lets hope it stays that way).
I went to my friend's birthday party the other day. It was great. I talked with her little sister until 5AM. We could've gone longer, too. We had a marshmallow war... and I have marshmallow guts on my jeans and sweater... XP. Over the weekend I did homework and baked brownies.
Also... I have committed to actually trying while we are at the gym. I biked almost 6 miles today. I had less than a tenth of a mile to go, too. I could feel it in my hamstrings... and I know I'll be sore tomorrow. But it'll be good.
I have currently fallen in love with the song "Savior" by Skillet. It's amazing.
I am also very tired and don't want to put effort into school. However, today I managed to get my research paper topic. And it was my #1. Health issues in the Himalaya. :D. I'm such a dork. I actually will have fun with this.
Uhm... hmmm. Yeah, that's basically my life for the past few days in like 10 minutes (to write). I live such a boring life... Oh well. /shrug.
That's it. I'm truly done and over with guys. I know I've said this before, but I really mean it this time. I am not going to be a girl that goes back to the boyfriend that dumped them... I mean, it's not my situation but I'm not going back to this guy. He is horrible. I mean, when we talk, and I mean really talk, it's fantastic. However, when it's times like these when he won't talk to me about important things... it pisses me off. Greatly. I don't want to have to force news out of him. I know something happened and he's not telling me. I don't want to have to make him tell me. I'm done trying to be his... I don't even know. I want to be his friend... it's just so gosh darn HARD! :\
Anyhow... I'm doing pretty well. I got an A on my history test (and it was HARD! But I only got like one or two questions wrong... soo...). Math is going great. I am holding a B in there (lets hope it stays that way).
I went to my friend's birthday party the other day. It was great. I talked with her little sister until 5AM. We could've gone longer, too. We had a marshmallow war... and I have marshmallow guts on my jeans and sweater... XP. Over the weekend I did homework and baked brownies.
Also... I have committed to actually trying while we are at the gym. I biked almost 6 miles today. I had less than a tenth of a mile to go, too. I could feel it in my hamstrings... and I know I'll be sore tomorrow. But it'll be good.
I have currently fallen in love with the song "Savior" by Skillet. It's amazing.
I am also very tired and don't want to put effort into school. However, today I managed to get my research paper topic. And it was my #1. Health issues in the Himalaya. :D. I'm such a dork. I actually will have fun with this.
Uhm... hmmm. Yeah, that's basically my life for the past few days in like 10 minutes (to write). I live such a boring life... Oh well. /shrug.
Friday
I keep thinking about how my life was a year ago. It doesn't help that I'm listening to the one song that brings up all the memories. "God Bless the Broken Road". It's such a beautiful song.... but I won't be able to listen to this objectively for a long time.
Lets put this in perspective. About a year ago around this time... my ex (obviously not at the time) and I met. In a month (exactly) it will be a year since we started going out. I'm over him, I really am. I appreciate him as a friend. Honestly, I don't think I could ever go back to him. Ever. But I keep thinking about when we went out together.
I can remember the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I can remember how special I felt... and most of all I remember that "God Bless the Broken Road" was the song that he said explained how he felt. I remember I looked it up... and I felt so... touched.
I listen to it now, and I feel like crying. I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired, or because the memories are a little painful. I'm sure it's both. I don't know why this hurts. I gave up something special. I mean, I have someone who makes me feel the same... but it's awkward.
This will sound so... conceited but... I know I change lives. I know I do. I convince myself of that. I'm sure some people can imagine life without me...but I know for a fact that some people can't. My family doesn't count because that's just obvious. But I have a feeling that all the ones who play a major role in my life... I have done the same.
Gah. I just don't even know what to say anymore. I feel like I have so much to pour out but I can't put words to it. I know this totally goes against my whole 'positive attitude' resolution... but I doubt it. I'm being reflective.... but not depressed. I know my life is worth living, and it will always be. I'm just wishing life was a little different.
I <3 you all. I hope every person I know is blessed thoroughly by God. They deserve so much. God is my savior and I hope that if my friends don't accept that from themselves... that God just keeps bringing them close to him. I would like to ask for prayers for one of my friends, Shi. She was basically in the pits a few days ago, but I'm still worried for her. She's an amazing girl, but she has some issues. I feel like I can't help her sometimes.... but I guess all I can do is to just... be there. I feel lousy when I do that, but it's all I can do. I would also ask for many prayers for the many in Haiti. They need it so bad. It's so devastating.
Lastly... I would like to wish my friend a happy 15th birthday. :). She is amazing. She's there for me when things go downhill.
I give you all my love and prayers. <3
Lets put this in perspective. About a year ago around this time... my ex (obviously not at the time) and I met. In a month (exactly) it will be a year since we started going out. I'm over him, I really am. I appreciate him as a friend. Honestly, I don't think I could ever go back to him. Ever. But I keep thinking about when we went out together.
I can remember the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I can remember how special I felt... and most of all I remember that "God Bless the Broken Road" was the song that he said explained how he felt. I remember I looked it up... and I felt so... touched.
I listen to it now, and I feel like crying. I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired, or because the memories are a little painful. I'm sure it's both. I don't know why this hurts. I gave up something special. I mean, I have someone who makes me feel the same... but it's awkward.
This will sound so... conceited but... I know I change lives. I know I do. I convince myself of that. I'm sure some people can imagine life without me...but I know for a fact that some people can't. My family doesn't count because that's just obvious. But I have a feeling that all the ones who play a major role in my life... I have done the same.
Gah. I just don't even know what to say anymore. I feel like I have so much to pour out but I can't put words to it. I know this totally goes against my whole 'positive attitude' resolution... but I doubt it. I'm being reflective.... but not depressed. I know my life is worth living, and it will always be. I'm just wishing life was a little different.
I <3 you all. I hope every person I know is blessed thoroughly by God. They deserve so much. God is my savior and I hope that if my friends don't accept that from themselves... that God just keeps bringing them close to him. I would like to ask for prayers for one of my friends, Shi. She was basically in the pits a few days ago, but I'm still worried for her. She's an amazing girl, but she has some issues. I feel like I can't help her sometimes.... but I guess all I can do is to just... be there. I feel lousy when I do that, but it's all I can do. I would also ask for many prayers for the many in Haiti. They need it so bad. It's so devastating.
Lastly... I would like to wish my friend a happy 15th birthday. :). She is amazing. She's there for me when things go downhill.
I give you all my love and prayers. <3
lsdajasdlkaslj;a
/sleep. That's what I wanna do right now. I'm so tired. School has just drained so much in the 4 days I've been there already. So lame, right? Well.... it's true. I'm totally pooped. Right now I could basically fall asleep. But, of course I won't actually crash for another half our or so. I might actually go to bed with my parents tonight! *gasp!*
Anyways, I've spoiling myself silly with the new Sasuke tournament that aired New Years day. (About 4AM my time). I could not stay awake for it, so I have to settle for watching a crappy quality over the 'net and reading summaries. I just have to wait patiently for it to air in the US. It'll be awhile... so by the time it does come it'll be like new! I mean, come on, they haven't even PROMOTED Sasuke 23 here. And that aired in like.. October or something. (FAIL!).
Anyhow...
I'm being forced to work on one of my resolutions. My first one actually. Once I get home (I'm with my parents now), my sister is taking me to the gym. *eye twitch* I suppose it's for the better. I really do need to work out more. Otherwise... I've actually been doing really well with my other resolutions. (Except for praying... I er... I'm failing slightly at that. But I'll do it. I really will. Seriously).
Uhm. Uhm. Uhm. Grrr. why can't I think of anything to say? Oh! I know. My finals.
Photography: 98% (not like it was that hard)
Honors Alg 2/trig: 67% (D:)
Choir: 97% (I believe)
Biology: 90-some odd%
World History: also a 90-some odd%
Spanish: ???
Honors English: 83% (actually that's about what I was thinking I would get. It's the normal "Oh, I studied a little bit but not too much" grade that I typically get.)
So basically, I have A's (or almost in my English. 1% OFF!) and 1 C (for math). Pretttyyy good. I'm very happy with it. I passed all my finals (maybe just barely for math.... XP). Uhm... there's really not much I can say.
Well I suppose I'll head out early tonight. Sleep is a wonderful thing.
/sleep. That's what I wanna do right now. I'm so tired. School has just drained so much in the 4 days I've been there already. So lame, right? Well.... it's true. I'm totally pooped. Right now I could basically fall asleep. But, of course I won't actually crash for another half our or so. I might actually go to bed with my parents tonight! *gasp!*
Anyways, I've spoiling myself silly with the new Sasuke tournament that aired New Years day. (About 4AM my time). I could not stay awake for it, so I have to settle for watching a crappy quality over the 'net and reading summaries. I just have to wait patiently for it to air in the US. It'll be awhile... so by the time it does come it'll be like new! I mean, come on, they haven't even PROMOTED Sasuke 23 here. And that aired in like.. October or something. (FAIL!).
Anyhow...
I'm being forced to work on one of my resolutions. My first one actually. Once I get home (I'm with my parents now), my sister is taking me to the gym. *eye twitch* I suppose it's for the better. I really do need to work out more. Otherwise... I've actually been doing really well with my other resolutions. (Except for praying... I er... I'm failing slightly at that. But I'll do it. I really will. Seriously).
Uhm. Uhm. Uhm. Grrr. why can't I think of anything to say? Oh! I know. My finals.
Photography: 98% (not like it was that hard)
Honors Alg 2/trig: 67% (D:)
Choir: 97% (I believe)
Biology: 90-some odd%
World History: also a 90-some odd%
Spanish: ???
Honors English: 83% (actually that's about what I was thinking I would get. It's the normal "Oh, I studied a little bit but not too much" grade that I typically get.)
So basically, I have A's (or almost in my English. 1% OFF!) and 1 C (for math). Pretttyyy good. I'm very happy with it. I passed all my finals (maybe just barely for math.... XP). Uhm... there's really not much I can say.
Well I suppose I'll head out early tonight. Sleep is a wonderful thing.
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