I've have a string of conversations about an accident that has stayed longer that it should have. I burned myself last week making food, on a day that wasn't going so well. It was funny because the burn made a faint smiley face. The "eyes" went away before the day was over... but the "mouth" not so much... It's practically gone now, but it's still not GONE.

Anyway- my conversations. I had many about how it was weird that it was still there, how I /should/ treat it and how I hope it's not going to stay there forever.

Then Wednesday (I think) I'm talking to a friend about how I still have the burn on my wrist and she jokes that I'm lying and that it's a cut. I walk away to throw away my lunch, and when I'm back, I say to never joke about that with me. Just that simple sentence reminds her how close I've been, and even recently too. I don't think I'd ever cut myself on such a visible place like that, or even advertise the fact. It scares me to think that I'd ever get that far.

Then another one today- one of my friends fired a mock rude comment at another, and the "victim" pouts and says something. I don't quite hear it all, and I ask for it to be repeated. Then the one who had the comment said to them made like a cutting motion on their wrist. I gently say "Don't ever joke about that. Especially around me."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's OK." (I'm thinking two things- "I'm glad you don't" and "How could you ever").

So, I dunno... it's just been something I've been thinking about lately. I'm a bit scared, to be perfectly honest. It's like, all my friends can joke about this stuff- and it could be remotely funny. But it's not. One day, I'm afraid it's going to happen for real (and especially to me). Then it's not going to be a joke. Then they'll realize what words can do. I just hope I only have to say those words, and not have the actions to back them up. Not only for me, but for everyone else in the group. I don't know what's going on in their lives, if they're feeling the same way. Sometimes, it's best to take a stand when no one else will.

God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power,
of love, and of self-discipline.
-- 2 Timothy 1:7