For some reason I've been thinking about my little stuffed koala a lot lately. I'm not sure if it's because it's a part of me that I finally "revealed" to my friends or what.... but it's not really a secret anyway.

It's a little build a bear that I've had since I was little. I think I can /almost/ remember picking it out and going through the process. I loved it. Then we moved, and it got packed away and I didn't see it for a few years. I brought it with me when I moved again. For the longest time after the move, it would just be the thing that I cuddled when I was crying. It would comfort me and I would feel better.

It soon extended into whenever I was feeling sad. Which... it seemed that it would take forever for me to be like "Ok, I don't need you, I'm happy". A lot of times it would end up on the floor of my bed, or something similar (that's usually when I put it back on my dresser).

Recently, I started just falling asleep with it. It's not a comfort thing (though it is the first thing I reach for when I'm sad), and it's just become normal. I don't bring it with me anywhere, but that's more of a 'no room' issue than anything else.

This memory I can't help but think about. This was a few months ago- shortly after my schedule was changed. I can't really remember what happened on this day. However, I know it was after an exchange between David and I (hmm... maybe THAT'S why). One of my table partners says something along the lines of "If he was an animal, he'd be a koala". At the time, I was like "uuuh...". But now, I think it's fitting.

I honestly think that 'koala' is more of a symbol for me. It's who I can trust. Who I can cuddle with. Who I can go to with my tears. I think I'm about ready for my koala to be a real person, not a childhood toy.

In other news... I've been slacking like crazy. And tomorrow is my half birthday. I get my full license in 16 days (On the 25th). My school's variety show is tomorrow, and I plan on going. Saturday is the ACT, and I'm ready. Some less than stellar things happened over the weekend (aka Sunday), but I'm over it now.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is
in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out
its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its
leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought.
-- Jeremiah 17:7-8