So, now that I have a level head, I'll tell you about my very vague and saddening post a few days ago.

It all started with "...... just kill me before I do it myself" on Saturday. How can I not notice that? I started talking with the person who posted that status. I'll admit, I was getting a little antsy, because it was way past time to leave to go out to dinner with my friends. However, I was having no luck getting down to the pure 'why' aspect. So I simply just left. I decided I was going to go out and have fun with my friends. I mean, I tried talking to them when I got back, but they never responded.

I didn't realize what I did until Sunday. I had left someone that a) what very clearly depressed and b) that I told I'd always be open to talk. Well, they were still alive with no help from me. The day went on and I began to feel more and more guilty. I went to bed that night... and I couldn't fall asleep.

It was probably after ten when I just began sobbing. I mean, not loudly because that's not who I am, but I was crying heavily for me. I don't stop for about a half hour, at least.

I mean, I still feel guilty, but it's not such a big deal now. I have a feeling he's at least a little bit better, too.

In other news...

Ow. I just aggravated something that was already hurting. I went out on a walk today, and just completely hurt my knee. I could stand it before, but now I'm just trying not to focus on it.

On Saturday, I borrowed a flute from my friend, and am now starting to practice it again. It makes me so happy that I can do it again. After only a few days of practice, I can get through some *very* simple melodies. I'm starting to feel like I'm doing something to make me happy again.

Considering I went through a horrible depression mode just a few weeks ago, I need something to make me happy. I've picked up something I've been meaning to do, and maybe some things will follow suit.

Lately, I've also been on a little "side-quest" of loosing weight. As of.. yesterday I think, I've lost about 4 pounds. I'm ready to start getting back to how I was.

School has been going fairly well, with my six weeks grades being: 2 B's (and high B's, too) and 5 A's (some of them low A's, but that's OK).

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with
actions and in truth.
-- 1 John 3:18