I'm not sure if I've ever brought this up; but one of my favorite venting forms is doing this whole 'unsent letter' type deal. Even though I'm fairly mentally sound right now, I think I DO need to get some stuff out of the way. So, I shall type up some letters I'll never send!

Dear sis,
I had a panic attack on Thursday while you were gone. It was a pretty long one... like 40 minutes. I don't know why it happened, but you need to know. I'm getting scared that I'm starting to break. It shouldn't have happened, I hope you realize. I'm really not that stressed. But I think I needed someone. Even if it was you. I need you to believe me on some things. Like my pain. Today, ironically enough, has been my most pain free day. It's not cool to be in pain all the time and not be able to tell you. Anyway, I'm glad that we haven't been fighting a whole lot lately. Maybe we're finally growing up. Or we just don't see each other that often. Either way, it helps.
~Liz

Dear College,
WHY MUST YOU BE SO EXPENSIVE?! ARG. I shall NEVER be able to pay for you!!!
~Frustrated

Dear Tim,
At first I was upset that you were going to step back, but now I'm happy. I don't need the stress you gave me. I can finally do what I wanted; focus on school. I wish you didn't step on so strong. However, I DO care for you and I'm glad that you just might care for me as well. Nothing will happen because I don't want to have a relationship right now. But I do smile a little bit when you're around.
~Liz

Dear David,
There's lot of things I wish I could say to you. First of all is that what happened to being friends? Last time I checked this is NOT how you treat friends. But whatever. I'm still a little torn up, but I think it for the best that we broke up. I miss having someone so close to my heart, but I think I'm finally moving on... about three weeks later. I'm upset that I've moved on so quickly. It's like my heart threw you out like you were nothing. At least a year was spent with me swooning over you, and half of that I was with you. I still love you, but I'm not sure it's in the same way that I did. I just wish you'd still talk to me. I'm not gonna push. Maybe I still wish you cared about me like you used to. I wish you cared about my mental health and actual health as well. I still wish you the best; but I know you're whole. You don't need my concern. You're carrying on just fine.
~Liz

Dear Sarah,
Thank you so so so so much for caring. I know I bother you quite a bit, but I'm glad you put up with me. Your concern and ability to read me is amazing. Thank you. You know I'm always here for you, so don't hesitate. We'll be friends for a long while.
~Liz

Dear self,
Thursday is complete evidence that you need to take a chill pill! Sleep well, take care of yourself and don't stress out too much.I know it's in your nature to over work, but it's OK to step back and have a little fun. You CAN do your work and still hang out with friends. In the end you will be OK.
~:)

Anyway, I had a loooong panic attack on Thursday, started just after 6, ended shortly before 7. Yesterday was pretty bad as I tried not to cry and I was running on really BAD sleep. I woke up early this morning to do fall frenzy at my school and then ended up having a lot of fun with my friends after. We got the majority of my halloween costume and clothes that I really don't but kinda do need. I found a trench coat!!! :D (And Goodwill had an amazing sale today so I spent less than $5 on my stuffs).

I was productive today in homework. I'm doing well now. I'm tired, but that's OK.

I'm doubting my ability to do NaNo this year; but I'm gonna try. I'll probably aim for something like 10k to MAYBE 25k. I have no plan and no time. If November lends itself to a lot of free time, I'm gonna do it.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in
honour preferring one another;
-- Romans 12:10